Aug 17, 2012

at 12:29 AM

Trembling, Trolling

Often, we like to ask,
why can't I have it?
why can't I be like them?
why can't I be better?

At least for me it happened very often.

How many time have you actually looked at people's life and say, 'hey I want that.'
I don't literally say that, but I do get envy (sometimes) when I see something people have and I don't, something that I wish to have but just can't have. Crap, how crappy is that?

Be contented, be thankful.

Yeh, I've heard that for countless of times, but when I look deep to the core, am I really contented? Satisfied with just what I have now? I have to constantly remind myself. I have enough, God always provide. Stuff like that.

I mean, I'm not saying I don't have good stuff. But really, I tend to get distracted and again, ask, 'why can't I have that.' Ugh, disgusting. You may say oh, another wannabe. No I don't want to be like them, I want to be myself and have what they have.

I'm gonna be really open here, since this is my blog, my space.
Take it or leave it.

Everybody wants to be better, don't come telling me you want to stay where you are forever. I'm fighting real hard to strive for a better self, better life, better quality, just on everything. I get so tired of telling myself, 'don't worry, you'll have it someday, after all you're only 19'

Crap. COME ON Joey. You're going to 20, no more a teenage girl. Yes this is WHAT I'm telling myself now. You won't get shish if you're just gonna sit there and rot and expect somebody to FIX your life. No no no, that's gonna be out of my head soon.

I'm big enough to handle myself, big enough to fix my own life.
Of course, God will still be my ultimate role model. =)
I believe everybody has a very unique way of living. Don't you think so?
Even with the same kind of thinking or mindset, you can still live a life with quality and NOT quantity.

Even Michael Jackson the pop star has haters.
Even Ryan Higa the number one on Youtube has haters.
Even Jesus the Almighty has haters.

Well again, haters gonna hate. No matter how perfect you are, people just have to find fault in you. How true is that. You just can't please everybody on earth. We live to please God, not man.

But I'm not gonna go all holy here. I just wish to have a better life to live, never stop chasing, never stop striving, never stop fighting. As I grow older, I realize my ego has increased, I play game to win, I talk to dominate, I choose the best, and that's not a very good thing. At least not too extreme. Just did the temperament test again, I was a Sanguine. But now...

Still Sanguine. Rawr.

I want a better life. I want quality.

Quality, yes that's the word.

Blogging, with just the right atmosphere.
Coffee, lighting, music.

Only thing, is my cam quality.
And yet again,




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