Sep 9, 2012

at 4:51 PM

Good ol' Times.

I have this bad habit.
One that I would be feeling all guilty later and yet never get to change.

Everyone has the same issue, it all depends how desperate you long.
For that change.

I blame myself for wasting too much time.
I blame myself for procrastinating.
It's always that 'If only'.

I've been having this feeling since beginning of my form6.
My life seems to be so drained off, so mundane.
For goodness sake I just don't get excited as easily anymore.
Or maybe I do, but they don't last.

To change my perspective, maybe I've grown up.
Not much, just a little.
Things have changed. Some to the better, some worse.
And I've been repeating over and over like a grandmother.

Come to think of it, I'm really sliding backward.

Memories are everywhere.
I get emotional just too easily these days.
Maybe I've just been thinking too much of the future.
Somebody once reminded me not to.

My form6 is coming to an end.
Yet again another transition for me.

I'm having a lot of plans in my mind.
Things to do after my STPM.
Things I want to start doing.
Things I want to complete.
And such.

Succeed or not. Doesn't matter.

Next year will be so different.
Really, a total big change.

I'm 20 next year.
And I have to keep reminding myself.
I'm no more a teenage girl.

Just recently, I remembered a lot of old hits that I used to spam all day.
Back then, my favorites were Ne-yo, Chris Brown, Blue, BSB etc etc.
Now they don't play their old songs anymore. Hardly.
So whenever I play them, something would trigger.

Songs nowadays just won't stick in my mind for too long.
Those days, I could sing just any song I want.
Now if I were to randomly think of a SONG I like, probably it'll take me a minute or two.

Old songs are gold.
When I say old songs I don't mean oldies like Danny Boy or Puppy Love or Feeling.
Those were my parents' time.
My old songs are like maybe 5 or 6 years back.
Oh well. I was only 12 or 13 back then.

Primary school last time was like Kindergarten these days.
Even kids aged 6 nowadays are already exposed to the Internet.
Back when I was in primary school. I was innocent.
I don't want to compare with people in KL or big cities.
At least in Seremban. Having Friendster at the age of 12 was like a WOW.
Now, one without Facebook is claimed to be outdated. No matter your age.

I'm glad I have an elder sister.
That helped me catch up faster than my peers.
Anyway I'm off off off topic.

Well I was going through my old folder in my old thumb drive.
Every single thing inside is priceless.
One day if this thumbdrive go missing, or corrupted or something.
I'm going to hang myself to death.
Nah kidding.

Just want to emphasize.
Memories are precious.
I love my childhood. Thou it ain't something very memorable.
But at least I have quite a good upbringing.

No matter how much I love those days.
Life gotta move on.

Just something extra:

Throughout this post,
The only person that appeared in my mind,
Was my sister.

I pretty much believe that she knows how I feel.
Exactly how i felt.
Cause she's the first ever person I have telepathy with.

When somebody leaves, somebody else would fill that empty slot.

But if you leave, I'd rather leave that slot empty. Till forever.


That, was meant for 2 very important person in my life.
Signing off.

 -Jojo aka Midnightgurl-


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