May 30, 2013

at 12:15 AM

Thank you, insecurities.

I'm starting to feel so awful of myself these days.
For some reasons everything just started to turn from bad to worse.

I wonder how long will this take, wonder how am I gonna come out from it. I seem to lose everybody around me. Little by little everything gets further and further from me, and I keep getting a feeling that there will reach a time when I will lose everything I have now. Like in the end, I'll be left alone to deal with problems, to pick up every pieces and put them back together all by myself.

I'm feeling so insecure. Everyone must be so scared of me. Nobody could understand the feeling of me fighting with myself now, the feeling of wanting to break free, to be carefree, whatever.

I almost deactivate myself from Facebook just so I could disappear for a while from the cyber world and get a book to read or something. I thought like it could get me off from the social thing and help me reflect on this miserable life of mine.

I think I'll have to FORCE my damn self to STOP expecting stuff. Because they just always kill me so bad inside. Each time I'm disappointed I waste at least an hour to emo. And because too many things seem to make me emo too easily these days, I waste my days just like that by emo-ing. So freaking unproductive. I wonder what's wrong with myself. Life has so much more, but my brain can't seem to understand that.

I'm so afraid of losing.
But I'm such a loser.
I just am.


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May 24, 2013

at 12:53 AM

Burp.

Now finally my title is relating to my content. 
Behehe :D

I never knew how to burp, or should I just say I don't. Many times people like burp in front of me and I'd be like, wow wait how did you do that? No seriously I've tried every ways and would end up croaking like a frog.


herro :3

But good news is I'm starting to burp these days. I didn't force it but they came naturally like 'buuuuurrp. wops' kinda thing. So I'm pretty much torn between embarrassment and amusement.


I finally burp like a normal kid.



rofl =p

'Why fart it and waste it, when you can burp it and taste it.'
- Joshua Wong-

EWW.
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May 21, 2013

at 11:44 PM

Semester break soon!

Wow weather tonight hen gao lat.
Just had my night shower and started to sweat again in less than 10 minutes =(

It's school semester break soon,
also means it's my holiday soon!
I'm friiiggiin' the high aite.

Going for church camp for the first time in my life,
gonna have all the fun I can! =)
Hehe.

There will be 2 weeks break, and I pushed all my tuition forward to the first week, so that I can keep my 2nd week for camps and outings. Planned to go for a Lankawi trip right after church camp, but I can't make it in the end for some reasons. Sigh disappointment overload.. It was a trip with my sister and her gang in Uni. I was so happy thinking that finally I can meet some new faces, talk to new people and stuff but nahh, things went down to drain. Sister was disappointed too. But aihs it's okay, next time!

Just had a call this afternoon from a church friend. He's also my ex children church teacher. So I can't exactly call him a friend. K whateva. But some things he said this afternoon encouraged me. Suddenly I felt like God hasn't left me yet, He's always here. Won't tell what he said but it all sums up to a conclusion that I've changed. Duh of course I have, he was my children church teacher back in..urm..around 2003 or so. Anyways! thanks for the encouragement, wo hui jia you de hehe!

Also another phone call from a student's mother. She was happy cause her kid's mathematics got 91 and she said she can't thank me more. Hehe proud of you little one. Not boasting, just giving the glory to God. I think I prayed for my students before their exams. Forgot if I did, but I guess I was half asleep when I brought it up to God. HAHA ok nevermind God heard me. Whee

Boyfriend is moving to a new unit soon. He picked alot of stuff from everywhere cause everyone is moving out. Some from the charity bins, some from the stuff that people don't want anymore, some from..just everywhere. And he got me this omgeeeegeeenesss le cute tiger le hat!


tehee hen cute hor..hor!!

Ok ignore me maybe cause he's my bf that's why everything he got me also I'll say they're cute one even thou they're not right but no seriously this is super ke aii behehehhe woots.

Alright enough.

Other than that these are the stuff he found, yes including the TV, and please spot my lil tiger hat tqvm.


Point is he keeps reminding me of how my dad always brings back funny funny stuff and brag about them as if he's won some gold or something. Then he'll go all 'eh RM2 only leh!' or like 'RM10 for these 3 items!' Lol same thing like how my boy bragged and say it looked like he had saved a thousand usd for these stuff.

But still, I love them both this way cause that's how random how unpredictable they can get. 

K back to business. Back to CandyCrush. Then sleep. 

:D



I think I look abit sakai tonight. Literally.

I wish you best of luck honey.
For your new semester new friends new season.

Till we meet again.
Muax =)

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May 19, 2013

at 1:28 PM

五月的星期天

List of things to occupy myself today:

- Give tuition to my brother
- Tidy room
- Laundry
- Change back to my Mickey bed sheet
- At least 5 levels of Candy Crush Saga
- Do some recording
- Tuition at 5pm
- at least 3 episodes of Glee
- Novel at night
- Strart reading Proverbs again
- Pray before sleep

That's about it. Be happy today whee!


Ish my front camera sux big time.

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May 10, 2013

at 3:23 PM

Self-shot.

For my 333rd post.







SSFTW!
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May 8, 2013

at 11:40 PM

Thoughts on GE-13, once and for all.

哈咯,久违了。

Before I say anything, here's a picture I copied from Facebook. There's a gathering right now at Kelana Jaya that I WISHED I could go. But because nobody knows what's gonna happen there, so pastor encouraged us not to get involve in it. But seriously guys look at this picture below..


We have people all around the world to support us!

Aite, I'm trying to be as neutral as I can here. Look at how fast a piece of news can spread these days. One click one share one word from one single person is enough to spread news worldwide. People share news, people share rumors too. I've seen plenty of clarification regarding blackouts and extra ballot boxes and what not. Well at the end of the day only the bad people know if that really happens. People who stood up to clarify may be bribed. I don't know, it's just an assumption, cause to be honest, our country is too corrupted till I don't know who to believe anymore.

People like to hear what is nice to hear, or what they believe is 'logical'. Other than that, illogical truth are said to be false. But who are we to judge? We state our opinions, but always bare in mind that we may be wrong sometimes too. 

Just for an example. Given an apple, some would share it, others would eat it. Those who shared will be commended. Say if the apple is poisonous, those who shared will be blamed. I mean, come on guys, we shouldn't judge too much. Try not to look at the consequences, but rather, look at WHY things happened, WHAT was the motive, WHERE were they coming from. My example sucks, but what I was trying to say is this. Sometimes we over-react to things that were meant to be good. Just because it turned out bad in the end, we blame the whole world, forgetting that the motive was good. For another example, I have this little boy today in kindergarten who wanted to help with the chair arrangement. But because of his clumsiness he accidentally knocked a girl's lips and it bled. So he was scolded badly. What would he be thinking next? 'Oh, maybe I shouldn't help too much, I should sit at a corner and not help at all.' Or maybe he'll just think twice the next time people need help. We forgot his motive was to help. Nothing else. You get what I mean.

Nobody can be perfect. John 8:2-11. Look it up and read.

John8:7 'When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her".

One by one, they left. 

Don't condemn people too much. Because when you're put at that same situation, things could possibly be the same, or worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying our PM is right. We will never know what's in his mind. But think about it, everybody knows his consequences if he loses the election. He himself knows it. If you were put at that situation, what would you do? Humans are selfish, because that's human nature. He wants to save himself, he has to do something about it. Who knows, maybe he has regretted, and he's trying to prove the people that he will manage things better in the following 5 years? I don't know. 

I'm disappointed myself with the results. The whole time I was on 8tv getting updates regarding GE13. Boyfriend was on the other side of the earth watching KiniTV live stream. So I practically ran in and out of my room whenever we have news to exchange. I loved that feeling, I felt so patriotic alright. :3 

Things were close to perfect but results turned out otherwise. I'm not gonna comment too much about what happened during the counting process cause I may say the wrong things. Anyway we have 21 days to appeal. I hope somebody can find some solid proofs, not just online rumors. But now as I see more news more clarifications more complains, I'm scared. I'm so afraid the breakage between races will be worse. Or was it just the upper hand trying to mislead the people. I don't know.

The protest was breath-taking, the crowd was massive. It isn't about racism, it's about the voice of the next generation. I just hope God will do something with Malaysia soon. 

As of now, whatever will be, will be. If the protest works, it works. If it doesn't then so be it. Pretend like we're giving our PM another chance to prove that he's capable of his role. Or if he doesn't, the Rakyat have eyes, they will eventually wake up and rise up. 

Remember, we can never be perfect. 
But it's the effort we put in to strive perfection that matters. 

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