Jul 3, 2013

at 4:47 PM


You can't stop people from hurting you, it depends how you choose to react. I've been practicing not to react to criticism, or rather, I react differently. However when it comes to people that matters to you, then it's a different thing to handle altogether. For instance, if a mother keeps telling her daughter that she's ugly, she'll keep thinking that for the rest of her life even thou her friends say otherwise. On the other hand if a girl gets all the criticism from everybody except for her mother, she'll still be strong and think she's the best regardless all the attacks from the outside world. Why. Because she has support. She has a home to run back to. She has her mother at the end of the day, to hold her and say 'silly girl, you're the best.'

Why. It all goes back to the one important person in her life.

I love to compare since young. Because I always want to win. So one day when I was a little girl my father taught me to compare to myself instead. Have I been improving, have I truly did my best, have I beat my last high score. Comparing to others is equivalent to being jealous of people's achievements, he said. Thank you dad, I guess I've learned the lesson. But I found out that comparing to myself brings me down even more when I keep failing every time.

Anyway, that isn't the point.

I just had an important person telling me the same thing that everybody else has been telling me. I thought we must all learn to love one another regardless. If you see something wrong with a person's attitude, you tell them because you love them. But if you see something that you DON'T LIKE on a person, you accept them because you love them. You don't ask them to change because you Don't Like them. Their appearance, for example. Like they can control how they want to look like?

You never knew how big a deal it is to me.
For me to hear it from your mouth.

I always thought I have a 'home' to run back to when I am hurt. 
I thought I have that 'home' to secure me. 
I thought that 'home' would always think I'm the best, because I belong to this 'home'. 
But I ain't as lucky as that little girl. 
Because my home is not a home anymore.

And when I was about to move my cursor to the 'publish' button, 
I heard a voice inside, 
telling me 
'why look for assurance from men, when God is your Creator?'

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