Sep 1, 2013

at 10:42 PM

Pain of 1st September.


is every first day of the month so terrible.

It's as stinky as ever.

It rained since noon hour,

contributed to my mixed-feelings.

I slept a few times since it started raining,

and I woke up each time feeling worse than before.

That scene, that weather, that smell, that sentence.

I sat on my cabinet with windows wide open,
allowing the wind to brush through my hair,

expecting each gush to sweep off my tears,

wishing desperately for someone to understand my feelings.

I'm so torn down that each pieces of my broken heart,

could hardly be gathered once more.

For the whole day waves after waves of pain welled up,

forming water at the corner of my eyes.

I wept silently staining my own shirt,

at the same time holding back the hardest I could.

I patted myself, I felt my own heartbeat.

I put one arm on the other,

as though someone was next to me, comforting me, loving me.

Lastly at night, I pampered myself with a good mask session.

I need to relax, I thought.

I closed my eyes as the mask cooled my cheek,

washed away the stain of my painful tears.

But the moment I closed my eyes,

I couldn't help it but to think again.

In the end I left my mask on longer than it should be.

Perhaps I went too deep.

I spent the whole day thinking.

What have I done.

Really, what have I done..

What is it..

I have never forgotten about you.
Says he.


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